Gripes & Graplings

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Main Meal Salads

A distant relative has recently announced that my explanation of the origination of salad as a main meal is, as he so eloquently put it, bollocks.

The problem, you see, is that this particular fifth cousin once removed had been unable to grasp why anybody would want to have such items as salad plates amongst their kitchenalia. Having only ever experienced salads served on full-size dinner plates, he's obviously never been in a position to be educated regarding the finer side of salad serving.

Being from a considerably better line of the family than my poor relative, it's understandable that he wouldn't have the same kind of extensive knowledge of dining etiquette as one would hope and that was taught me by my mother's servant. If he had been in possession of the necessary knowledge he would have immediately understood that salad plates measuring six inches in diameter are used for side-salads and not main meals. Side salads, for those who aren't familiar with the finer points of dining, are generally served from a large bowel bowl out of which the diner chooses a selection of greenery, and are eaten as an accompaniment to cold buffets. Or yesterday's leftovers.

Salads as a main meal developed out of necessity during the Second World War. The working classes grew lettuce, cucumber, radish, onions and a variety of other vegetables in their small back gardens and, as a means of saving energy, began serving copious amounts of them in their raw state. The salad as 'lunch' was born.

Should you be in the unlucky position that you find yourself disagreeing with me on this, please leave a comment either explaining your reasons or point me in the direction of your truth. It might also be worth procuring a sleeping bag, especially if you're 'almost' family.

Thank you and [enter rude work for testicles here] to it all.



  • What a terrible shock for you. You'll need a sit down and a cup of sweet tea before contacting the lawyers and filling out all those pesky immigration forms.

    By Anonymous caroline, at 9/3/06 00:48  

  • I must admit to having a certain sympathy. They're just small plates aren't they? We do have to discriminate with spoons though. Just calling them spoons wouldn't be right because you couldn't stir your tea or eat a egg boiled with a table spoon..

    By Anonymous Richard, at 9/3/06 01:08  

  • Thank you for that careful and lucid explanation.
    It's a plate. I buy it and use it for whatever I bloody well want. I will not be dictated to by anally retentive matriarchs who think that the world needs every object to have a precise adjective, and that there should be penalties for behaviour at variance with said description.
    And should the circumstances ever arise whereby I am forced to rely on salad for sustenance, I shall eat it off of whatever plate, saucer, bowl, dish or shovel that I please.

    By Blogger Vicus Scurra, at 9/3/06 08:37  

  • He's barking isn't he?

    Luckily you don't seem to have that gene.

    By Anonymous caroline, at 9/3/06 09:12  

  • It's all very well, Richard, to take the easy option and say that spoons need descriptions. But why use the convention of "table spoon". What's that then, a spoon you use to eat tables? I think not. I am yet to be convinced that 'big' and 'little' are inadequate adjectives when it comes to cutlery.

    Woof. Woof.

    By Blogger Vicus Scurra, at 9/3/06 10:16  

  • oh my, are you off your meds Mr. Scurra? This salad plate thing is really getting to you isn't it?

    heh heh.

    By Blogger Kyahgirl, at 15/3/06 20:58  

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