Gripes & Graplings

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Flat Pack Men

I've just been listening to Future Radio, a local Norfolk radio that, thanks to the wonders of the Interweb, I can listen to whilst sat at home in Crewe.

The afternoon show was hosted by two girls who, quite honestly, reminded me of a pair of teenagers acting silly because they've been given some precious air-time, but they had a couple of interesting things to say. Not things they'd thought of themselves though.

One point that interested me was that, evidently, hairy men are quicker at putting up IKEA flat pack furniture than men with little body hair. I've no idea how this was measured or who was behind the study because, these girls being silly and boring, I wasn't listening much.

I imagine there's some link to testosterone. Men are traditionally hairy and once upon a time, women loved that. But now we hear girls like these two saying "would I want a hairy man putting up my flatpacks? I think not." Things have changed. We don't want MEN anymore, we want effeminate boys who are easily controlled.

I'm not quite sure why I'm writing this or where I actually wanted to go but there must have been a point. I think it had something to do with cavemen. Although I doubt they had flat-pack furniture.

Related Links:
Future Radio



  • So what exactly are you saying?

    By Anonymous Smooth bloke, at 8/4/06 16:34  

  • Geeze, those smooth men. First they can't pick up your flatpack for you. Then they want to accompany you when you wander into the woods, gathering nuts and berries.

    Be careful. You'll be listening to old Dusty Springfield records before you know it...

    By Blogger Mark Gamon, at 10/4/06 08:36  

  • Smooth Bloke. I think I was trying to say that you're pretty damned hopeless at putting up flat-pack stuff, honey!

    Mark. Mushrooms. They even want to pick mushrooms! Chase the boar, I say!

    By Blogger Sharon J, at 10/4/06 22:10  

  • Give me a hairy man any day, especially if he is good with his hands.

    By Blogger colin, at 11/4/06 02:59  

  • Oooer, Colin! The mind boggles ;-)

    By Blogger Sharon J, at 11/4/06 17:40  

  • Beg pardon, Sharon? can't hear you. These boards make an awful trampling noise, over here in my corner of the primeval forest.

    Now where did I leave my up n' under spear? Oh that's right. Under that tree. Over there. Where there's now a herd of boars. And a bear. And something growling in the middle distance.

    Can I come and pick mushrooms now?

    By Blogger Mark Gamon, at 12/4/06 13:47  

  • Dear Auntie Sharon,
    When I met my husband he had a full head of hair and a full beard with attendant moustache. He is now clean shaven and balding. What should I do next time I make a purchase from Ikea. I do have the odd stray hair in the lower belly region. Could I attempt assembly myself. Will plucking reduce my efficacy? I am so confused.

    By Blogger Cherry Rolfe, at 13/4/06 18:34  

  • Dear Cherry,

    I'm afraid I'm going to have to disappoint you as the truth is, only women who have nipple hairs are truly capable of assembling flat pack furniture correctly and efficiently. Does your husband have nipple hairs? If so, I wouldn't worry too much about his tendency towards baldness as nipples hairs are an definite sign of masculinity. Also, if he still has hair in the nether regions, there could be increased hope.

    Thank you for your interest in this important subject.

    Auntie Sharon

    By Anonymous A Woman Who Knows Nowt!, at 14/4/06 17:21  

  • Of course, it isn't "an" definite sign, but I assume you're intelligent enough to know that?

    Oh, and Mark (apologies for not seeing your comment earlier), the mushroom season hasn't yet got under way so I fear you're jumping the gun somewhat. I'll drop you a note at the appropriate time.

    By Anonymous The same woman as above, at 14/4/06 17:25  

  • lol!!

    By Blogger Cherry Rolfe, at 14/4/06 22:19  

  • Ah, but what about shaved men? Natually hairy, but artificially smooth.

    And what about men who wear chestwigs? Nature decreed they be hairless, but they've given themselves something you can run your fingers through.

    And what about men who are bald on top but have great big beards? Or men who shave their chests but not their legs? Hmmm?

    By Anonymous Kapitano, at 15/4/06 09:03  

  • Kapitano. Cheats will never be good flat-packers. Ikea have a rule against it.

    By Anonymous Sharon J, at 17/4/06 01:45  

  • Aah! I get Moustache Mark to put my flat-pack furniture together. It seems to be the only thing he is good at and thanks to you, I now know why x

    By Blogger Cherrypie, at 23/4/06 01:18  

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